....special days ....
andrew bird - the mysterious production of eggs - 14 - the happy birthday song (mp3, 3,959 KB)...today is the day before my 25th birthday .... did anyone see it coming ? .... well I did not ... I remember back ..when I was much younger .. that I imagined 25 as eing really old ... by that age I wanted to havemy first child ... ( I did not know by then that you need a man for that ) ... well and I thought I will be an adult .... when does one actually become one .... some nearly 30th or over 30th surround me but I cant really see much difference .... maybe I m already one .... ha ???!!! me !!??? no that cant be ...
The other day someone asked me if I feel old or young .... it really maid me think ... because I kind of tried to make him understand that its both .... at one point I feel so vulnerable like never before and want to go home to hide on the side of my dad ( which I will actually on monday) on the other side I count too many years already for feeling like that which makes me feel old ..... I want to have still more time to become the person I think I should be with 25. - well I'm not .... looking back to my 21-22 I was happy ... I felt as if i m on a good track like "being on time " .. Up to this age I cramped so much adventure and experience in a short period that I could sit back and relax - thinking yes well done /.... now I sit back and think .. shit I have some catchin up to do ....
well one of those things is Nepal ... 2 month and a half .... but this time I'm quite scared ... there is like no time to piss about anymore ... it needs to be good .... I'm kind of scared of making mistakes or well taking wrong decisions... Its now I know .. once there its all so different ... and I want even think like this anymore . I still have two weeks to go before my departure but it fees as if there are still so many private things to sort out ...over which i'm turning and turning since month ... so maybe the real solution lays in me leaving and coming back with a different view on things ... if itwould just not be so hard to JUST LEAVE things...
The other day someone asked me if I feel old or young .... it really maid me think ... because I kind of tried to make him understand that its both .... at one point I feel so vulnerable like never before and want to go home to hide on the side of my dad ( which I will actually on monday) on the other side I count too many years already for feeling like that which makes me feel old ..... I want to have still more time to become the person I think I should be with 25. - well I'm not .... looking back to my 21-22 I was happy ... I felt as if i m on a good track like "being on time " .. Up to this age I cramped so much adventure and experience in a short period that I could sit back and relax - thinking yes well done /.... now I sit back and think .. shit I have some catchin up to do ....
well one of those things is Nepal ... 2 month and a half .... but this time I'm quite scared ... there is like no time to piss about anymore ... it needs to be good .... I'm kind of scared of making mistakes or well taking wrong decisions... Its now I know .. once there its all so different ... and I want even think like this anymore . I still have two weeks to go before my departure but it fees as if there are still so many private things to sort out ...over which i'm turning and turning since month ... so maybe the real solution lays in me leaving and coming back with a different view on things ... if itwould just not be so hard to JUST LEAVE things...
hybrid - 15. Oct, 19:48
